you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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