stop calling my apartment porn island.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
