Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
