You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
