He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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