his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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