Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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