I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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