guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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