I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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