Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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