your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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