Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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