Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
