a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
