i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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