I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I look better un-naked...
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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