I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
