Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
