you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
