So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
