Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
