im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
