She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
How external is "for external use only"?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
