I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize