yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
