your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
