got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
