Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
