you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize