So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
