So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
she woke up with a sticky ear
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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