dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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