I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just invented taco cereal.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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