We won't sleep together?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
