i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
