Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
