so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
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The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
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Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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