69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
