Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.