and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.