Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
