Dual....:-)
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
