i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
