I should be sponsored by Trojan
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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