I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize