Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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