This girl is more easily done than said...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
