My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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