I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
