ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
