no, he came in my armpit
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
