So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize