I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
