You really coming over, don't trick.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
