my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
